During any “break” that I have from work or school, it doesn’t take long for my anxiety to begin eating away at my enjoyment of time off. This may sound crazy to some of you, because to most a break is something we THRIVE off. However, for me, breaks give me just enough time to realize all the things I could be doing better and all the things, I’m not doing at all. If I’m not up by 6:00 a.m. working, I feel I’ve wasted the day. If I wait until the last minute to finish my screencasts for math, or finalize projects for reading, I’m constantly worried they’re just “not good enough.” This hat trick, of being a full time educator, business owner, and student has recently got me feeling a little bit down on myself. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love everything that I do. I feel incredibly blessed to wake up every morning genuinely happy and excited about what lies ahead of me. However, wearing all of these different hats, as an educator, business owner, and student, has left me forgetting about the other incredibly important hats I wear as well. I am a daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister, friend, girlfriend, dancer, reader and so much more. I have, very quickly and quite vigorously, forgotten what it means to be all of these very important things that make me who I am.
Over this spring break, I finally broke the mold and monotony and went out with friends I haven’t seen in years, spent time with my best friend, went to a Holi celebration at a Hindu temple, went to they gym almost every day and actually spent one whole day napping and watching TV before going to rehearsal. Mind you, most of these were events that were planned prior to their occurrence, but nonetheless, they were just for fun and just for ME! Before this break I could not tell you the last time I did something just for “fun” and “non-work/school/business” related. It was rejuvenating, invigorating and I genuinely had a great time! I understand this is something all educators struggle with; finding a work/life balance, because whether we want to believe it or not, the line between our work and our life is almost transparent. Our students quickly become our kids and their well-being and success is what gives us life and purpose. However, in the mix of providing what’s best for the 28 adorable faces that stare back at us day after day, we cannot lose sight of what our purpose is as a “daughter,” as a “friend,” as a “human being.”
With all this in mind and with arguably the busiest 6 weeks of my life swiftly approaching (aka tomorrow), I wanted to take time to reflect on my experience this past week and the mindset I hope to continue to maintain as best as possible moving forward. I will continue to provide the absolute best education for my students, staying up to date on the latest research so that my students always are given a fair chance. I will maintain strong connections with my PLN as well as my business networks providing the best customer experience for all parties. I will continue to pursue and nurture my love for education in school, always trying my best.
But, at the end of the day I WILL make time for me. I will strive to remember how important it is to foster the fact that I am a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, and a friend. I will make time for people who matter and stop giving my time and myself to things that are not as important. I will learn what and who those things are. I will prioritize. I will GO TO THE GYM! I will laugh. I will have “just-because” fun. I will go put my grandma’s Christmas decorations back in her crawl space, yes I’m aware it’s April. I will learn to say no every once in a while. I will dedicate myself to happiness and realize that it’s okay to take a break and also to ask for help.. I will embrace everything and LIVE!